mzminola: knees-down view of a kid in white stockings and black shoes who is standing on tiptoe. (Default)
[personal profile] mzminola
Title: Drummer Boy
Author: mzminola
Fandom: Glee!
Genre: Alternate Universe
Premise: What if Finn never sang in Glee club, because he was already in Jazz Band?
Rating: As high as the show itself, plus extra for swearing, and violence in later chapters.

Warnings for the fic as a whole: Anything the show has is likely to show up here, so pretty much all of the bullying and phobias and barfing and other issues. If you are worried about specific triggers please let me know and I can give you a heads up.

Brittany, who for this week was no longer Brittany S. Pierce because Madonna didn’t bother with more than one name and neither would the Cheerios, agreed with Artie that Tina totally should wear some tighter clothes and “work it” more.

Before she could say that though, Mr. Schuester interrupted their girl talk, surprised at the way boys treated them. Totally not cool. If Rachel had wanted boy-advice from him she would have asked him, duh.

Then Mr. Schuester walked in on the middle of their Cheerios practice with the stilts, and then later in Glee club said they’d be doing Madonna week. Complete rip-off.

It was an okay rip-off through, because the more Madonna music she got to dance to the better.

Rachel liked Madonna, so maybe she wasn’t completely 100% awful. Puck thought Madonna was hot, which, truth, but also objected to singing her songs, so boo you whore, Puck.

Madonna made Trent uncomfortable, but so did, like…everything. Apparently Madonna didn’t make him nearly as uncomfortable as Mr. Schuester did when he got into lecture-mode though, ‘cause now that Mr. Schuester sounded kind of angry Trent was shrinking down in his seat. Someday she’d figure out how he changed sizes like that.

Mr. Schuester in lecture-mode was boring, and really, the more time he spent talking the less time they spent rehearsing. Coach Sylvester didn’t waste time like that.

Apparently neither did Rachel, because when Puck whined about doing Madonna again, Rachel went straight to picking a song and schooling his ass with it. The costumes and choreography for Express Yourself were awesome and yeah, Brittany was gonna have to re-think Rachel’s awesomeness-to-awfulness ratio if this kept up.


Santana snapped her rubber “What Would Madonna Do” bracelet against her wrist again, before heading away from Brittany’s locker and towards Finn’s.

He turned her down, she was expecting that; they both knew he was dating Quinn Fabray, and while she knew the kid was Puck’s, Finn didn’t.

“From what I hear, you two hardly touched in that hot tub before things got too hot to handle,” Santana said, one hand pressed against Finn’s locker, the other fisted against her hip. “And if the way you two kiss like two kindergartners on a dare, still worried about cooties, is any indication, she’s not letting you get any further than that.”

“That’s, um, that’s…I don’t think I’m supposed to talk about this with you,” Finn said.

“All I’m saying is, if you’re gonna take all the responsibility for getting her knocked up, you might as well get one shot at seeing what it really feels like to fuck.” She pushed herself away from his locker. “So if you do wanna know what it feels like, call me.”

There. Now nobody could say she wasn’t trying.


Kurt went to Brittany first, after his initial idea-storming session with Mercedes; they wanted more Cheerios for their video. Plus, Brittany was the one who’d set up her camera to record Single Ladies¸ and shown Kurt the “record in black and white” setting her camera had when he’d asked.

“You need to ask Coach Sylvester about getting more Cheerios,” Brittany said. And since Kurt and Mercedes’ idea required editing together several different takes, Brittany said she couldn’t help with that. “I’m getting editing software in a few weeks, but right now I can only do single-take videos.”

“Oh,” Kurt said. “…even if Miss Sylvester turns us down, will you and maybe Santana still be in our project?”

“Totally,” Brittany said. She had Miss Sylvester’s office hours in her binder, and let Kurt copy them.


Finn’s still kind of weirded out from talking with Santana earlier when he gets the text from Brad about needing drums for a Glee rehearsal. The Glee club’s Captain, Rachel Berry, she’s put together a mash-up of Madonna songs.

Turns out she’s gonna sing the mash-up as a duet with Puck; the band waits patiently while she tells Puck she was trying to change his mind about Madonna still, since he was the most vocal opponent to the assignment. Finn guesses it must be some weird Show Choir politics thing.

Puck rolls his eyes when Rachel hands him the sheet music, but Finn can tell he gets into it as the song goes on, and when they finish, the choreography puts Puck and Rachel facing each other, staring intently.

Then they both burst into laughter.

“Okay, that was cool,” Puck says, holding his fist up, and Rachel bumps her knuckles against his. “Not like, bad-ass, but cool enough.”

Rachel thanks the band for their time before she leaves, which Finn thinks is nice, and Brad gives her a nod. Puck glances over at them, but looks away before his eyes could meet Finn’s. He doesn’t nod or wave or anything, just grabs his bag and follows Rachel out.

That’s…weird, Finn thinks.


Mercedes and Kurt had come to Artie with a song chosen, and a pretty strong idea of how they wanted their multi-media project to look. But they want to be in it, so it would be difficult to direct, and neither of them had the technical knowledge to put it all together, so could Artie maybe…?

“This is gonna be great,” he told them. He only had three other guys from AV club to use, since the club president, Lauren Zizes, was using the rest of the club for some mockumentary about vampires in Ohio.

Artie had to admit he was surprised when they got not only extra Cheerios in addition to Brittany and Santana, but also Coach Sylvester herself. There was a low-voiced explanation from Kurt that had to do with hair, and Mr. Schuester, and “finding a new look” for Coach Sylvester.

He had them record their cover of Vogue first, so they could lip-synch while they filmed. Or sing along, whichever, Artie’s flexible.

Then Coach Sylvester threw in the line “Will Schuester, I hate you,” and Artie leaned over to Kurt and Mercedes. “Your call,” he whispered. “Do we keep that, or have her re-record?”

Mercedes bit her lip, and Kurt had pressed his tight. They looked at each other, then at Artie, and Kurt said “I’d rather not ask Miss Sylvester to re-record anything.”

Artie agreed, though it led to some minor complications when they got around to recording the visual portion of the multi-media project. Coach Sylvester’s change to the song kept catching Kurt off-guard, and he’d startle or glance at Mercedes. Eventually, Artie gave up on making them re-shoot that portion.

Fuck it, he thought. Maybe that’ll give us plausible deniability if Mr. Schuester bothers to watch it.


“Rachel?” Jesse called.

“Out in a minute,” she called back, and put down the curling iron. Out in her room, lounging on her bed, was the boy who said he’d wait for her. Who said she deserved epic romance. Who knew how to keep secrets and would never kiss-and-tell, unlike some people.

“Okay, Rachel Berry,” she said quietly to her reflection. “Are you ready for this?”

She opened the bathroom door.


“Everyone who has auditioned has gotten in, that’s how this group works.”

Mike shared a glance with Matt when Mr. Schuester said that; they hadn’t auditioned. Neither had Puck. And unless Jesse had sung to Mr. Schue in his office or something, he hadn’t really auditioned either.

But maybe it wasn’t a good idea to point out that they hadn’t auditioned, not when everyone else but Rachel was clearly pissed or suspicious.

Rachel herself was curious.

“The more time I spend with you,” Jesse said. “The more dead and empty being with Vocal Adrenaline feels. I want to be on a team where I can express my love, not hide it.”

Matt looked over at Mike and rolled his eyes.


Brittany loved when Coach Sylvester brought in the marching band for their numbers. They weren’t allowed to help at competitions, but she liked to work them in sometimes for sports events. Almost every half-time performance for Homecoming was a combination of the band and the Cheerios, so they didn’t have to rely on the intercom system.

They’d only had a couple days to put together this routine. Becky had commented after their first practice with the vocals that Kurt and Mercedes were tough; Coach Sylvester wasn’t any easier on them than she was on anyone else, even though their part of the routine was totally different. Kurt and Mercedes hadn’t uttered one complaint, or passed out, and if either of them cried they hid it with sweat, which was more than one could say for most Freshman Cheerios in their first weeks.

After finishing the pep assembly performance of 4 Minutes, Brittany and Santana and the others from the squad who’d been in the performance jumped and waved to the crowd while the band filed out. Brittany saw Kurt and Mercedes walking over to the bleachers, and she put a foot forward to follow them, but Santana put a hand on her shoulder and shook her head, then pointed with a quick jerk of her chin to what Kurt and Mercedes were approaching; Coach Sue and Mr. Schuester talking together.

Santana want back to smiling and waving at the crowd, and Brittany waved too but kept an eye on their friends, and tightened her grip on her pompoms.


Kurt somehow wound up next to Puck while they were doing their first run-through of What It Feels Like In This World For A Girl, around the piano with all the guys from Glee club.

The whole thing annoyed him, really. Puck and Artie were the only ones there who’d been rude to the girls lately, and Artie’d already had Tina explode at him in the hallway. Kurt was pretty sure Artie had gotten the message loud and clear at that point to lay off the fashion commentary.

And that Vocal Adrenaline spy wasn’t even there, and he was the one who’d pressured Rachel about sex, according to Brittany.

When the song ended, Puck spoke up. “This is the worst Madonna song ever,” he said.

“And you’ve listened to so many of them,” Kurt said, rolling his eyes.

“I sang one with Rachel,” Puck shot back. “And it was a heck of a lot more cool than this.” He turned to Mr. Schuester. “This song is just annoying. Wondering what it would feel like. If I wanted to wear a dress I would. But I don’t.”

“That’s not the point, Puck,” Mr. Schuester said with a sigh.

Kurt crossed his arms and looked away from the group. Nice sweater, Hummel, Puck’d said once, before tossing him in the dumpster. Hey boys, we caught ourselves a Catholic schoolgirl, the day he’d finally found a tartan kilt back in Freshman year. Making new friends, Kurt? Mr. Schuester had asked as he walked by.


“Hey, Rachel,” Puck said, leaning against the lockers near hers. “Did anybody get you the lyrics for the song we’re doing later?”

“Mercedes did,” Rachel said, stacking her binder and textbook on her arm. “She and Quinn put together this arrangement of Like A Prayer with Mercedes’ choir in mind. This means we can’t use it for competition of course, since most of them don’t go to our school, but it’s a nice way to wrap up Madonna week.”

“Anybody get the lyrics to that boy-toy of yours?” Puck asked. Rachel glared up at him and he grinned.

“He is my boyfriend, not my… “boy toy” that is just ridiculous Puck,” Rachel said. “And I don’t know.”

“Don’t know what, sweetheart?” Jesse said, appearing out of nowhere and putting an arm over her shoulders.

“If anybody’s got you the lyrics for today’s shindig,” Puck said. He held out a hand. “Puck.”

“The trickster of renown,” Jesse said, shaking Puck’s hand. “One of Shakespeare’s most famed roles. And also Rachel’s only ex, if I’m not mistaken. Are you here to challenge me? Because I’m always up for a sing-off.”

Puck snorted, shoving his hands back into his jeans’ pockets. “I believe in Lady’s Choice,” Puck said, and winked at Rachel. She rolled her eyes. “And I’m not planning on any sing-offs. I will let you know though, that as the only other Jew in Glee club and therefore a stand-in for family, if you ever hurt Rachel I will bust both your kneecaps and drag you up to her Two Gay Dads for them to destroy you.”


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mzminola: knees-down view of a kid in white stockings and black shoes who is standing on tiptoe. (Default)

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